State of Emergency

Dear all, Please forgive the lateness of this entry. It has has been long coming, but due to how busy I had been with my last two school assignments, I hadn't had the time to sit down and blog. The last thing I blogged about was about our visit to Auschwitz and the Salt Mines, which was fantastic (yikes, that word again, lol :P). After that we got the chance to walk join a small, free walking tour around the Jewish Quarter, listening to the history and the legends about the city. It was quite interesting. That night, the three of us decided to go out dancing, which was a first for me in months! We didn't stay for long but I had a great time, especially since there was no gross grinding on the dance floor :P The following day was also great, as we visited the Wawel Castle, which is right in Krakow. Unfortunately it was closed, but we got to go inside the castle's basilica, which was absolutely stunning (sorry, no pictures were allowed :S), and the outside architecture was so incredible that we were satisfied with that. After that we went to eat at the Hotel Royal's restaurant, where we had a very large, very satisfying, very delicious and also very cheap traditional Polish meal. The only thing I was annoyed at was the minuscule size of soft drinks, while the beer came in giant 1-liter jugs... All I wanted was a regular sized Sprite, but instead I had to settle for two very expensive toddler-sized bottles of weird-tasting pop (Sprite and Coke taste different in Poland... weird!). Anyway, that night we took a bus back to Lviv, and immediately, from there we were able to catch another bus to Ternopil, which was nice. And so that was it. Back to our lovely lives at the Internat! :D :D :D

HOWEVER...

Coming back to the internat was a true shocker. As it turned out, over the short weekend we were gone, the whole place had gone through what they doubted an "EMERGENCY"... (Please Note: Jen, Jessica and I took a long time to write about this because we were not sure whether it would be appropriate to blog about it or not. Each of us had wanted to blog about it but had not, thinking the others would not approve. However, when we brought up the issue after a few days, we came to the conclusion that we SHOULD blog about it because, as Sarah Noonan said to us and Jen reminded us... the more light we shed on this place, the more accountability there needs to be and the greater hope we can bring for this girls...)

So... Here's what happened...

DISCLAIMER: WHAT I AM ABOUT TO TALK ABOUT IS QUITE SERIOUS AND I WILL BE VERY BLUNT IN EXPRESSING WHAT I THINK SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK...

As we soon found out due to the great commotion that was taking place, it turns out that one of the girls at the internat was discovered to be five months pregnant. She is 23 years old. The staff noticed her stomach as they were working in the fields one day, and when they interrogated her and 'checked' her, the truth came out. So what's happening with this girl?? Simple. She is being expelled from here and sent to another internat, which is really more like a prison, as we have been told. The reason that they give for this treatment is that she is "no longer a child, she is a woman now", but this is a bit absurd as you will see from what I will explain in just a bit. In my opinion, treatment is also more like a warning for the other girls, if you will. Nobody wants to go to that other internat... The girl, whose name I will not mention, definitely did not want to leave. This is where she has grown up, where her sisters are. This place is all she knows, and now she's gone. And as far as the baby goes, he or she will probably be sent to another internat where they take care of babies or will be given away in adoption (HOPEFULLY!!). But there is a lot more to it than this... Following the discovery of the 'emergency', all the girls 12 years old and older were checked for pregnancy, and with the director being furious, there was a huge commotion all over the place.

To be perfectly honest, this, while serious and somewhat shocking at first, did not really surprise me. After all, we had seen a few guys hang around the internat with some of the older girls, and Jen had even watched one of them... ehem... kissing one of the girls. These girls have very little to do, and nobody to show them love. Therefore, it does not surprise me in the least that at least some of them become sexually active with guys who live in the area, especially the ones who live in the adult/elderly internat next door. As it turns out, when the boys at another internat for males grow too old to be around the other kids, they get sent to the elderly home next door to our internat... so you can just imagine how that ends... I think it is a terrible idea, to say the least. Bogdan told us (through Orest), that there is a guy whose name is Sascha who had been playing "Casanova" (as Orest puts it) with the girls. As a result, several of the girls at the internat had become pregnant... AND... well... unlike the situation with this particular girl, the rest of the pregnancies have not resulted in births... Apparently this Sascha is not the father of this last baby and the father has been 'found', but there remains a huge problem of safety for these girls. Nobody takes responsibility for ensuring the girls' safety and education in these matters, and the solution is always after the fact...

You see, the only reason why this baby is even been allowed to be born is that it is that they discovered the pregnancy so late. What do I mean, you may ask? Well... thanks to Orest, who was able to translate all this for us from Alina Boss and from Bogdan, we learned that all the girls of a certain age get 'checked' EVERY MONTH for pregnancy!!! As far as we know, this includes girls as young as 12 years of age. What this 'checking' consists of, we do not know, but we hope it is just a simple pharmacy pregnancy test. If any girl is found to be pregnant, the 'solution' is immediate and irrevocable: abortion. No choice, no deliberation. Simple. Quick. And I may add, horrifying.

However, for some reason they had not checked the girls in a few months, and that is how this one 'leaked'. And I presume that since the baby is already much older and formed and an abortion at this stage would require a more complicated surgery, it would be much more difficult, risky and certainly scarring for the mother if they aborted the baby now. After all, since the baby is so large now, the mother would be able to feel the body of the baby being sucked out of her whole (or in parts... D-:<) YET, we heard that the director was so upset about the issue that he even suggested giving this girl some form of drug that would kill the baby... What I feel about that I will keep to myself but you can just imagine... This is the director of the internat, the one in charge of ensuring the girls' safety and well-being... So just picture the whole situation...


**Intermission**

If you do not know what I mean and if you want more information on abortion, its implications -including its physical, emotional and psychological risks and consequences-,statistics, how abortions are conducted at the different stages of development, AND how women can RECEIVE HELP both before AND after an abortion, etc., please go to the following links...

But REMEMBER, this is a serious issue. The website is descriptive in some areas and also gives you the option of looking at graphic pictures if you so CHOOSE. They go about it in a very respectful way, though, so they warn you before they show you anything. So please use your own discretion... This link contains a lot of useful information, including short 2 and 5 minute clips on the homepage that are very good an informative. If you want, you can choose to watch the pixelized version so you don't have to look at graphic images. I have posted the pixelized version of the 2 min pixelized version here:

Website Home Page:
http://www.abort73.com/

2 minute PIXELIZED video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NudvtDdc1Vk

This link actually explains the different methods in which abortion takes place at each stage of development. It is descriptive and it has links to graphic images if you choose to click on the thumbnails, but the thumbnails are very small so you don't have see anything if you don't want to:
http://www.lifesitenews.com/abortiontypes/

**End of Intermission**


What is very sinister about this is this: First of, the girls receive NO sexual education at all whatsoever, which means they are likely to find out about it by experimentation and without knowing the risks and potential consequences of being sexually active. What especially concerns me is the fact that this means these girls can be so easily abused by men who may come around the internat just to have a 'good time' and leave these girls emotionally, psychologically and even physically abused, with no accountability to anyone. These girls are easy targets. Easy victims. This makes me feel rage.

Secondly, these girls are forced to take these monthly tests AND, what is very macabre... if they do happen to turn out to be pregnant, they are FORCED to have an abortion. This is something that people on BOTH sides of the abortion debate should be horrified about. These girls have no options. No choice. It is a simple equation: you are pregnant = you get an abortion. PERIOD. According to the reports that Orest received from Bogdan (who by the way is perfectly ok with this and has even contributed to this being perpetrated), MANY of these girls have had at least one abortion (and sometimes more), and at least one of the girls has had her tubes tied, without even getting the choice of whether to give consent to this. This, too, is what will happen to this girl who just got pregnant, after she has her baby delivered via C-section. What is not clear to us is whether the baby will be delivered now (and likely die), or if they will let her carry it to term. But her tubes are getting 'tied' for sure, no choice involved. It is like getting them 'fixed', which does not keep them or protect them from being used. What's more is that some of the girls who already HAVE had abortions are very very very young... It truly breaks my heart to know what they have to go through in such a case... An abortion is a horrifying, scaring experience even for a woman in her full faculties and with a support network... it can cause severe stress and trauma for many years thereafter, and I cannot even begin to imagine the kind of damage it can cause to one of these vulnerable girls. Sure, pregnancy would not be easy in their case either, but the girls at the internat would be more able to understand and appreciate the risks of sexual activity than if abortion takes place in the secretive way it does, AND, more importantly, they would be able to appreciate, witness, and experience the beauty of the life-giving gift of fertility. They would be able to accompany the girl in her pregnancy journey and learn from it... that is, if they only let the girl stay... but instead, it is all done in such a clandestine, under the table sort of way, and that frustrates me to no end.

Some people may think, "well, these girls are disabled... they can't take care of a child... the child is unwanted... it is not worth for that child to live..." But if you are one of those people, I would like to challenge you to think differently. I look at each of these girls who live here at the internat... each of these abandoned, 'unloved' and 'unwanted' girls... and you know what I see? I see humanity. I see dignity. I see life. I see a child of God, who is worth every effort, every pain, and every hardship, just like any other child. Sure, living at an internat/orphanage with a mental or physical disability is not the ideal way of living. But you know what? Even these girls can be happy. If you only saw them playing, while they don't know anyone is watching... If you only saw their vitality, their enjoyment of the simple things of life... their DESIRE TO LIVE!!! These girls are truly sisters to one another; they take care of each other and they love each other very much...

Sure, many of them have suffered a lot, but they also know what love is, and how to give it. And that is what they do, both to us and to one another. Every human being that is born will suffer, no matter what. Even the richest of the rich suffer in one way or another, and often at their own hands through excess and greed. So whenever someone says that a life of a child is not worth living because of all the hardship he or she will live, I cannot agree in the least. All I think of is all the incredible men and women of history who have lived and suffered and yet have accomplished so much. And while some may say "yes, but these children will not be able to accomplish such things because of the likelihood that they too will be born with a disability", I say to them: These girls, WITH their disabilities, have an incredible potential to touch people's lives. They have certainly touched mine, and they have transformed me in such a short period of time. They have the ability to help and transform one another, and to say that their lives are meaningless or useless is a gross act of discrimination and prejudice, no different from any other such act, including the past discrimination against blacks, Jews, etc. Each human being has dignity, no matter what.

So what does this 'state of emergency' means for us (Jen, Jessica and I) in terms of our work here...? Well, it means a lot of frustration, as you can imagine. The director of the internat is furious over the situation, and he has put a halt to many of our liberties and activities. Our weekly excursions have been canceled, which was rather frustrating for the girls who had not yet had a chance to go, as you can imagine. That is why we decided to have an 'inclursion' the other day lol. Jen brought a set of crafts that her aunt had sent her, and we brought the girls who were supposed to go on the excursion with us to the little auditorium, where we did the crafts, played with balloons, danced, and shared candies :) The girls enjoyed it, so I felt some relief knowing we were able to somehow work around the canceled excursions. However, we have been trying to talk to the director to know for how long we will be unable to take the girls out. We are also a bit nervous because we do not know if we will get granted permission to invite people to come to watch the recital we have been preparing. We also do not know if we will be able to do the sleep-over as we had planned. So we are still waiting, chasing the director, who has been avoiding us, and hoping for the best. In the end, though, we will work around whatever needs to happen in order to get things done...

_____

For my part, I have been working on a few projects of my own, but I have not blogged about them because I want to keep it all to myself until I know whether it is going to be able to happen or not. For now, I can tell you that this weekend I am going to go buy supplies to put kits together for the girls. I am buying all sorts of hygiene and personal care products for each of the girls. I have asked Jen and Jessica to help me put the kits together. My aim is to have a "Let's take care of our bodies" day, when I will give the girls their kits, and I will take the opportunity to teach them (again, as Amanda did something similar last year) about personal hygiene. I have made a few posters, and I have a little activity planned. I am hoping to find articles for pedicure, such as foot scrubs, foot brushes, and the like, and to have each of the girls do their own pedicure, with my direction, of course. I have mentioned before how the feet of many of them are in an awful state, so I want to sort of 'trick' them into wanting to take care of their feet, hahaha. We will make it into a 'girlie' activity :P where I will teach them how to clean their nails, scrub their toes, put medication on their sores if they need it (Chopin was very kind as to help me provide them with foot medication), and end on a happy note by applying nail polish! :D. I am also going to remind them about tooth-brushing (I have a special poster made for that), and deodorant application, which is desperately needed with some of them!! I know it might get messy, so I am thinking of doing this activity with only a few girls at a time, even if it takes a couple of days.

Of course, I will get different things for the younger girls as they will not be as likely to be able to participate in the same way, but my hope is that we can teach the older ones to be an example and a help to the younger ones. So pray for me! (Or if you are not the praying type, wish me luck! :D )

Aside from that I am also working on something else and I have a meeting with someone this weekend to figure out what is going on with that... I will tell you more about it later once I know for sure what's going on (whether it will work or not).

In the meantime, I am trying to recover from what I think was food poisoning... :(
The other day I decided to go to Kosa, which is an internet-cafe/restaurant/bar to do my work because I was sick and tired of being stuck in the same room all day every day while doing my school work after the internat. So here I was, thinking this was a good idea, and I actually did get a lot of work done! BUT, I ordered something from the menu, not really knowing what it was since I can't really read it lol, and that did not go over so well. I asked the waitress, who spoke minimal English, to bring me something with chicken. That was part was fine. What was not fine is that what she brought me was a wrap that had chicken, tomatoes, some weird creamy sauce, and... hard boiled eggs D-:< That is when it all went downhill. I do not like hard-boiled eggs that much, but it was already ordered, cooked, and sitting in front of me, and I was not about to waste food, so I ate it. BUT, man! I did not feel good eating it. The eggs on it tasted funny and they just made me feel horrible. And at first, I thought, 'oh it is just because you don't like them', but the entire day afterwards I didn't feel so good, and by yesterday morning I was very ill... :( Not the most pleasant thing to talk about, I know, but oh well. So I am not feeling that great at all, but hopefully by tomorrow I will be ok. I can't afford to be sick right now. I can't afford to waste time. So while I have been stuck at home for pragmatic reasons, I have been trying to get as much work done as I possibly can. Now that my two assignmets are over and I only have to study for my finals I can dedicate more time to working on my little plans for the internat.

Tomorrow Jen and Jessica want to come and visit my house after the internat, which I think is awesome. Our plan is to go to the bazar after the internat to get some of the supplies for my kits, and then maybe we will watch a movie or something. I am looking forward to it :)

Saturday I have that meeting I mentioned before, and for the rest of the weekend I will be studying for my exams, working on my papers for my RS 398 course on the Theology of the Body, and starting to plan for my visit to my aunt in Sweden (read: looking for flights). Anyway, I think this has been long enough (what else could you expect from me!)

Please know that I am ok, that I am happy, and that God has been blessing me in many MANY amazing ways, so please do not worry about me. Some people have expressed concern over how long it has taken me to blog, but please know that the only reason for this is that I have been so insanely busy. Everything is fine, I am happier than I have ever been in my live, and even though every day there are things that are hard to swallow, my heart is full of joy and I feel strong and hopeful, even when I feel like there is not much I can do. Thanks to all for your continued support, for your concerns, for your emails (which honestly mean the world to me), and especially for your prayers. I especially want to thank somebody for all they have done for me in the last little while. You know who you are and what I am talking about.

Love you all, miss you all. God bless! :D