SO WHO SAID IT CAN'T BE DONE???
I am so excited to tell you all what just happened that I don't even know where to begin!! Ok, I need too seconds to chill...
.....
....
...
Ok, I'm good now. So I had been telling you here and there that I had a bit of a project in the works, but I had not wanted to give more details than that, just in case it fell through. I mean, if it feel through I would have still blogged about it, but in a much different way... So anyway, now I am ready to tell you what my little project is and how it has started to unfold...
As I have mentioned to you before (or have I??), even though the girls receive a government stipend to cover their basic needs, it had been quite evident to me (and to Jen and Jessica) that these resources were clearly not enough. Part of it may simply be the fact that the government simply can't provide that much money for each individual girl, but part of it is also the fact that a lot of the resources that are allocated to the girls end up... well... let's just say they end up 'leaking' and not actually making it in their full strength to the girls. In order to protect the privacy and confidentiality of the people who have provided us with certain key information I cannot give you more information than that, but I'm sure you can put two and two together... corruption exists everywhere.
SO....
Over the last two months I have been very much in "observant mode", trying to get to know the girls well, becoming a part of their lives, letting them become a part of mine, and more pragmatically speaking, trying to asses what their specific immediate and long term needs are. I spoke to Irena, the woman who basically runs the internat and who very strongly advocates for the girls, about what the needs of the internat are and how we could help. Irena's first response to us was, "have you brought medications with you?"... yikes! As it turned out, the stipend the girls receive is not enough to properly stock their little clinic, nor does it provide sufficient nutrition for the girls to develop properly. Don't get me wrong, they eat everyday and I don't think they actually go hungry, but the quality of the food they eat, specifically in terms of its nutritional value, is very very poor. That is why we have 9 to 15 year olds looking like 4 to 6 year olds, and 16 to 25 year olds looking like 7-13 year olds. In addition to Irena's subtle pleas for help, Gayla, the Christian missionary and teacher I have mentioned to you before mentioned to me that there is an urgent need for vitamins to help the girls make it through the winters, which are particularly difficult for them given their already compromised immune systems...
So....
I had been thinking about setting some form of fund-raising initiative or charity of some sort in order to provide funds to help these girls with their most basic needs. When I shared this idea with a number of people, almost everyone received it with a measure of skepticism and doubt since they figured it would be either too difficult to do or simply that the local people would just not jump on board. I got a bit discouraged at first, but the idea simply refused to leave my head. I knew we had to create awareness in some way, and I knew that even if I were to help the girls now with the money of my grant (which I AM doing, of course), it would only serve as a temporary fix that would quickly fade away once I left, at which point the girls' situation would remain the same as before I came here. I felt that the ideal thing to do would be to organize the local churches so that THEY would become aware of the girls' situation and set up some sort of system so that they could take care of their own. I mean, it is wonderful when the girls can receive help from the outside, but I firmly believe that it is vital for the local people to be aware of the needs of their own community, their own children, and to be able to provide for them long after students like me have left and our resources have been exhausted... So after some time, prayer and reflection (and I must also admit, after being a bit less busy with my schoolwork now that I have finished the bulk of my assignments), I was finally able to put my plans to work...
With the help of my host family, who are faithful Greek Catholics and very close to their local parish, I was able to set up a meeting with the head priest at my host family's church. My aim was to ask him for help in order to set up a charity, like I mentioned before, within their local parish community. I was very nervous at first just thinking of what my meeting with him would be like and what I would say to him, but instead of sitting here worrying about it, I decided to leave it all to the inspiration of the Holy Spirit and to just go out there, with only a few lines prepared, and just let the meeting unfold as it may. That was a good idea, because it went a lot different from what I would have imagined it to be... First of, I felt very supported and comfortable once the meeting started, especially because Mama Ola came with us (Orest and I, since he was acting as my translator), and she is particularly close to this priest.
When we walked into the church, the priest greeted us warmly, motioned us to sit on the benches, and disposed himself to listen, without even asking any questions. I began by introducing myself, explaining that I was sent here through Students for Development, explaining what the organization does, and what I had been doing for the last two months. Then, I proceeded to explain about the needs I have seen at the internat, and to explain how, even though I am using the money from my grant to provide for the girls' needs, I needed help to set up some form of charity to help provide for them in the future, as in the long run. I added that I knew that many people in Ternopil did not even know there was an internat in their own city, and that I thought it was important to create awareness in the community. Moreover, I made sure to tell the priest that I was submitting this request without any presumption, being aware that the church community probably already had other things on the go, and that I did not want to take away from any of them, but that I simply wanted to draw their attention to a very real need in their own local community.
The priest listened intently, asking a few questions here and there. I could tell Orest was doing his best to translate everything in such a way that the priest could relate to it in the best manner possible. Mama Ola didn't say too much at first, but once in a while she would add a thing or too here and there in order to show her support for my initiative. The response of the priest was a bit discouraging at first. He began explaining how they do already conduct a number of collections throughout the year in order to support other charitable initiatives, such as another internat in a different city, a local prison, and the local poor. He mentioned that one of their yearly collects goes to Caritas, a Catholic non-profit relief organization. He was obviously concerned that it might be difficult to add yet another charity to the ones they already have in place. At this point, he was pretty much saying "I am sorry, but we can't really help you."
As Orest translated what the priest was saying, I could feel a knot in my throat. However, I insisted. I commended the priest for all the wonderful charities they already support, and I reiterated that I was aware of their enormous efforts to help those in need. Yet, I asked him to consider that these girls, who are local to Ternopil, also needed help and that there was nobody to provide for them. I could tell that he was debating it in his head. He mentioned to me that his concern at this point was of how they would distribute the goods they fundraised for, such as food, to the girls, in order to ensure that they were rationed appropriately and that they actually made it to the girls (rather than end up leaking just like the money from the stipends). I replied that Irena, whom I have mentioned before and who acts basically as the strongest and most influential advocate for the girls, would be the one to make sure that the goods got to the girls and were distributed appropriately on the internat's end. All we would need from the church would be just a couple of volunteers who would be willing to collect the money and make sure that it got to her. In addition, I explained to him that what seems to be most needed is medical supplies for the internat's clinic and vitamins to supplement the girls' nutrition.
I don't know how or why, but at that point the priest seemed to change his expression, as if he had been divinely inspired, hahahaha. It really was like a light-bulb moment for him lol. He looked at me, and with a smile on his face he said, "I know of a way that we can do this! Since we already do a very big fundraiser for Caritas each year, what I can do is set it up in such a way that part of the money we collect each year goes directly and exclusively to buy medication and vitamins for the girls." This would solve a lot of the legal problems and red tape that we would have to deal with if we were to set up a brand new charity. In other words, the church could use the resources that are already established in order to channel the funds to the girls!! He said all we would have to do is talk to Caritas and have it set up, and he said he would do this himself. THIS WAS AWESOME!!
I don't think I am explaining the shift that took place in the conversation quite well, but in truth it was like going from me hopelessly pleading, to him coming up with a certain way in which this could take place. What's more, is that TOMORROW (yes, tomorrow!!), he is going to make an announcement during (or I guess right after Mass) about what is happening and how they are going to support the internat through their main charity fundraiser. In addition, he is going to ask the community for a collection NOW, and he is hoping to collect money both tomorrow and next weekend. He said not to expect for people to give a lot in these first two collections, since people will have only just become aware of the situation, but that the most revenue would come from their big fundraiser, which takes place on their main feast day!! WOW!!
I forgot to mention this, but I let the priest read the letter that Myroslaw had written up for me to give to the Bishop at the main church, and I think that really help legitimized my claims, as Myroslaw is himself a Ukrainian Catholic priest, and as Dean of St. Jerome's, he had asked the local Bishop to help me. At this point, I offered to prepare a small 2 or 3 minute presentation for the community, and to put together a poster for next weekend so that people can put a visual image and a face to what (or better said to whom) they are contributing to. The priest said the presentation would be best if it took place during one of their catechism sessions (which a lot of people attend), rather than after Mass, since he would already make an announcement, so we will be setting up a date for that. I will have that poster done for next week though, so I am going to be really busy with that and with something else that I will tell you about shortly...
I mentioned to the priest that I would try to set up similar initiatives in at least two other churches, including the one I currently attend. That way we will not be taking away too much from the money they provide Caritas with in terms of where it is allocated. If we can set up small initiatives like this in two or three churches, then we would be able to come up with a more substantial sum on a yearly basis :)
When the meeting was over, the priest seemed genuinely on board and even excited about this! He went to the sacristy for a minute, and came out with an icon of St. Nicholas, which he gave me as a gift!! I was so taken aback by this! It was so unexpected!! He blessed the icon and said a special prayer. I was sooooo incredibly happy and thankful! All I could say was "DUSHE DUSHE DIAKUYU!!" (Thank you very very much!) over and over lol :P The priest seemed very pleased hahaha. And so we left having successfully established the first initiative towards helping the girls locally and permanently! All I could do was praise God for his goodness. There is still a lot to be done, but this was certainly wonderful!!
Tomorrow Orest is going to help me set up a meeting with the priest at my own church, and after that I will go to the big green church at the center (The Church of the Nativity of Jesus, or as they jokingly call it, the Christmas Church :P) to do the same thing. The reason why I started with this church first is because my host family already had connections with them, and it turned out to be a great idea. I want to do my own church next simply because I think they will be willing to support this. I have that feeling because there is a woman who has a very severe physical disability who attends my church, and she seems to be very close to the priests (there are like 8 priests at this church, most of them very young!!) and to the community, so I that makes me think that they would be especially open to supporting children with disabilities. I don't know, but I think it is very much worth the shot. Pray for me!!
___
In addition to setting up the fundraising initiative, there is something concrete that I am doing with the grant money (other than paying for translation services, hahaha). I have decided to put together individual kits of supplies for each of the girls at the internat, as well as one big kit for the whole internat with things that are best shared by all than given to each individually. I believe Amanda or one of the other girls did something similar to this last year. I have a three part aim in putting together these kits together:
1) To provide for their immediate needs, RIGHT NOW, especially when it comes to hygiene and personal care.
2) Simply to treat them with something fun, exciting and useful!
3) To use the kits as a starting point to teach them more about personal self-care and hygiene! (I mentioned the posters and the "Let's take care of our bodies" day that I am planning before)
The individual kits will consists of bags (which they can use later) containing necessary things like soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, wash cloth, lotion, hair bands, a feet self-care kit, socks, underwear (most of theirs is in VERY POOR SHAPE!!), bandaids, etc., and fun things such as a mirror, chap-stick, bubbles, notebooks, nail polish, stickers, candy, sunglasses and a piece of fruit! The kits for the little ones would be a bit different, but you get the point. In the big internat kit I want to put things like a ball, baby wipes, bottles of shampoo and conditioner, a few sewing kits, a few bottles of sunscreen, story books, etc.
Yesterday Jen, Jessica and I went to what we call "The Big Rodena", which is a grocery store, to buy some of the things. We are planning on buying most of the stuff at the bazar, as we believe it would be cheaper, and so we also wrote down the prices of the other things we wanted to buy in order to compare. Canadian dollars go a long way when it comes to converting it to hryvnia, but we still want to get the most for the money so that we can get them more stuff. It was actually very fun and it served as yet another bonding experience. I really appreciate all the help they are giving me with this particular project, as it is a huge job and I would not be able to do it without them. We are going to get the rest of the stuff on Monday, and we want to put the kits together at my house next week to have them ready to give them away on Friday.
After shopping, we ate some supper (which we bought at the grocery store) at the little park in front of the Rodena, and then we headed for my house to watch a movie. That, however, ended up turning into more like a girl's night, and we just chatted and talked about boyfriends, our plans, etc. It was great and we had a lot of fun!!! We want to do this again next week just before they leave. I can't believe they are leaving in two weeks!! I am going to miss them so much! It is going to be hard to be here for three more weeks after that with them being gone, but I will do my best to keep in touch with them over the webcam (as Jessica suggested lol), and also to remain social with the friends I have met here.
Speaking of friends, today we are meeting David, one of the guys I met at church, and we have been invited to a get together with a bunch of other foreigners! It will be awesome!! And tomorrow, Michael, who is working in Lviv through Intercordia, is coming to Ternopil to visit. So it will be a busy weekend!
There is a lot more to say, but I think I will leave it at that for now. Next week is going to be insanely busy with a lot of activities at the internat, putting that poster together, preparing the kits, AND studying for my two finals... so please PRAY FOR ME!! Thanks again for your comments, and don't forget that you can email me through facebook or at my NEW email address, which is: miri 'at' live.ca (I don't want to put the at symbol in order to avoid spammers). Love you all, miss you all. God bless!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
State of Emergency
Dear all, Please forgive the lateness of this entry. It has has been long coming, but due to how busy I had been with my last two school assignments, I hadn't had the time to sit down and blog. The last thing I blogged about was about our visit to Auschwitz and the Salt Mines, which was fantastic (yikes, that word again, lol :P). After that we got the chance to walk join a small, free walking tour around the Jewish Quarter, listening to the history and the legends about the city. It was quite interesting. That night, the three of us decided to go out dancing, which was a first for me in months! We didn't stay for long but I had a great time, especially since there was no gross grinding on the dance floor :P The following day was also great, as we visited the Wawel Castle, which is right in Krakow. Unfortunately it was closed, but we got to go inside the castle's basilica, which was absolutely stunning (sorry, no pictures were allowed :S), and the outside architecture was so incredible that we were satisfied with that. After that we went to eat at the Hotel Royal's restaurant, where we had a very large, very satisfying, very delicious and also very cheap traditional Polish meal. The only thing I was annoyed at was the minuscule size of soft drinks, while the beer came in giant 1-liter jugs... All I wanted was a regular sized Sprite, but instead I had to settle for two very expensive toddler-sized bottles of weird-tasting pop (Sprite and Coke taste different in Poland... weird!). Anyway, that night we took a bus back to Lviv, and immediately, from there we were able to catch another bus to Ternopil, which was nice. And so that was it. Back to our lovely lives at the Internat! :D :D :D
HOWEVER...
Coming back to the internat was a true shocker. As it turned out, over the short weekend we were gone, the whole place had gone through what they doubted an "EMERGENCY"... (Please Note: Jen, Jessica and I took a long time to write about this because we were not sure whether it would be appropriate to blog about it or not. Each of us had wanted to blog about it but had not, thinking the others would not approve. However, when we brought up the issue after a few days, we came to the conclusion that we SHOULD blog about it because, as Sarah Noonan said to us and Jen reminded us... the more light we shed on this place, the more accountability there needs to be and the greater hope we can bring for this girls...)
So... Here's what happened...
DISCLAIMER: WHAT I AM ABOUT TO TALK ABOUT IS QUITE SERIOUS AND I WILL BE VERY BLUNT IN EXPRESSING WHAT I THINK SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK...
As we soon found out due to the great commotion that was taking place, it turns out that one of the girls at the internat was discovered to be five months pregnant. She is 23 years old. The staff noticed her stomach as they were working in the fields one day, and when they interrogated her and 'checked' her, the truth came out. So what's happening with this girl?? Simple. She is being expelled from here and sent to another internat, which is really more like a prison, as we have been told. The reason that they give for this treatment is that she is "no longer a child, she is a woman now", but this is a bit absurd as you will see from what I will explain in just a bit. In my opinion, treatment is also more like a warning for the other girls, if you will. Nobody wants to go to that other internat... The girl, whose name I will not mention, definitely did not want to leave. This is where she has grown up, where her sisters are. This place is all she knows, and now she's gone. And as far as the baby goes, he or she will probably be sent to another internat where they take care of babies or will be given away in adoption (HOPEFULLY!!). But there is a lot more to it than this... Following the discovery of the 'emergency', all the girls 12 years old and older were checked for pregnancy, and with the director being furious, there was a huge commotion all over the place.
To be perfectly honest, this, while serious and somewhat shocking at first, did not really surprise me. After all, we had seen a few guys hang around the internat with some of the older girls, and Jen had even watched one of them... ehem... kissing one of the girls. These girls have very little to do, and nobody to show them love. Therefore, it does not surprise me in the least that at least some of them become sexually active with guys who live in the area, especially the ones who live in the adult/elderly internat next door. As it turns out, when the boys at another internat for males grow too old to be around the other kids, they get sent to the elderly home next door to our internat... so you can just imagine how that ends... I think it is a terrible idea, to say the least. Bogdan told us (through Orest), that there is a guy whose name is Sascha who had been playing "Casanova" (as Orest puts it) with the girls. As a result, several of the girls at the internat had become pregnant... AND... well... unlike the situation with this particular girl, the rest of the pregnancies have not resulted in births... Apparently this Sascha is not the father of this last baby and the father has been 'found', but there remains a huge problem of safety for these girls. Nobody takes responsibility for ensuring the girls' safety and education in these matters, and the solution is always after the fact...
You see, the only reason why this baby is even been allowed to be born is that it is that they discovered the pregnancy so late. What do I mean, you may ask? Well... thanks to Orest, who was able to translate all this for us from Alina Boss and from Bogdan, we learned that all the girls of a certain age get 'checked' EVERY MONTH for pregnancy!!! As far as we know, this includes girls as young as 12 years of age. What this 'checking' consists of, we do not know, but we hope it is just a simple pharmacy pregnancy test. If any girl is found to be pregnant, the 'solution' is immediate and irrevocable: abortion. No choice, no deliberation. Simple. Quick. And I may add, horrifying.
However, for some reason they had not checked the girls in a few months, and that is how this one 'leaked'. And I presume that since the baby is already much older and formed and an abortion at this stage would require a more complicated surgery, it would be much more difficult, risky and certainly scarring for the mother if they aborted the baby now. After all, since the baby is so large now, the mother would be able to feel the body of the baby being sucked out of her whole (or in parts... D-:<) YET, we heard that the director was so upset about the issue that he even suggested giving this girl some form of drug that would kill the baby... What I feel about that I will keep to myself but you can just imagine... This is the director of the internat, the one in charge of ensuring the girls' safety and well-being... So just picture the whole situation...
**Intermission**
If you do not know what I mean and if you want more information on abortion, its implications -including its physical, emotional and psychological risks and consequences-,statistics, how abortions are conducted at the different stages of development, AND how women can RECEIVE HELP both before AND after an abortion, etc., please go to the following links...
But REMEMBER, this is a serious issue. The website is descriptive in some areas and also gives you the option of looking at graphic pictures if you so CHOOSE. They go about it in a very respectful way, though, so they warn you before they show you anything. So please use your own discretion... This link contains a lot of useful information, including short 2 and 5 minute clips on the homepage that are very good an informative. If you want, you can choose to watch the pixelized version so you don't have to look at graphic images. I have posted the pixelized version of the 2 min pixelized version here:
Website Home Page:
http://www.abort73.com/
2 minute PIXELIZED video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NudvtDdc1Vk
This link actually explains the different methods in which abortion takes place at each stage of development. It is descriptive and it has links to graphic images if you choose to click on the thumbnails, but the thumbnails are very small so you don't have see anything if you don't want to:
http://www.lifesitenews.com/abortiontypes/
**End of Intermission**
What is very sinister about this is this: First of, the girls receive NO sexual education at all whatsoever, which means they are likely to find out about it by experimentation and without knowing the risks and potential consequences of being sexually active. What especially concerns me is the fact that this means these girls can be so easily abused by men who may come around the internat just to have a 'good time' and leave these girls emotionally, psychologically and even physically abused, with no accountability to anyone. These girls are easy targets. Easy victims. This makes me feel rage.
Secondly, these girls are forced to take these monthly tests AND, what is very macabre... if they do happen to turn out to be pregnant, they are FORCED to have an abortion. This is something that people on BOTH sides of the abortion debate should be horrified about. These girls have no options. No choice. It is a simple equation: you are pregnant = you get an abortion. PERIOD. According to the reports that Orest received from Bogdan (who by the way is perfectly ok with this and has even contributed to this being perpetrated), MANY of these girls have had at least one abortion (and sometimes more), and at least one of the girls has had her tubes tied, without even getting the choice of whether to give consent to this. This, too, is what will happen to this girl who just got pregnant, after she has her baby delivered via C-section. What is not clear to us is whether the baby will be delivered now (and likely die), or if they will let her carry it to term. But her tubes are getting 'tied' for sure, no choice involved. It is like getting them 'fixed', which does not keep them or protect them from being used. What's more is that some of the girls who already HAVE had abortions are very very very young... It truly breaks my heart to know what they have to go through in such a case... An abortion is a horrifying, scaring experience even for a woman in her full faculties and with a support network... it can cause severe stress and trauma for many years thereafter, and I cannot even begin to imagine the kind of damage it can cause to one of these vulnerable girls. Sure, pregnancy would not be easy in their case either, but the girls at the internat would be more able to understand and appreciate the risks of sexual activity than if abortion takes place in the secretive way it does, AND, more importantly, they would be able to appreciate, witness, and experience the beauty of the life-giving gift of fertility. They would be able to accompany the girl in her pregnancy journey and learn from it... that is, if they only let the girl stay... but instead, it is all done in such a clandestine, under the table sort of way, and that frustrates me to no end.
Some people may think, "well, these girls are disabled... they can't take care of a child... the child is unwanted... it is not worth for that child to live..." But if you are one of those people, I would like to challenge you to think differently. I look at each of these girls who live here at the internat... each of these abandoned, 'unloved' and 'unwanted' girls... and you know what I see? I see humanity. I see dignity. I see life. I see a child of God, who is worth every effort, every pain, and every hardship, just like any other child. Sure, living at an internat/orphanage with a mental or physical disability is not the ideal way of living. But you know what? Even these girls can be happy. If you only saw them playing, while they don't know anyone is watching... If you only saw their vitality, their enjoyment of the simple things of life... their DESIRE TO LIVE!!! These girls are truly sisters to one another; they take care of each other and they love each other very much...
Sure, many of them have suffered a lot, but they also know what love is, and how to give it. And that is what they do, both to us and to one another. Every human being that is born will suffer, no matter what. Even the richest of the rich suffer in one way or another, and often at their own hands through excess and greed. So whenever someone says that a life of a child is not worth living because of all the hardship he or she will live, I cannot agree in the least. All I think of is all the incredible men and women of history who have lived and suffered and yet have accomplished so much. And while some may say "yes, but these children will not be able to accomplish such things because of the likelihood that they too will be born with a disability", I say to them: These girls, WITH their disabilities, have an incredible potential to touch people's lives. They have certainly touched mine, and they have transformed me in such a short period of time. They have the ability to help and transform one another, and to say that their lives are meaningless or useless is a gross act of discrimination and prejudice, no different from any other such act, including the past discrimination against blacks, Jews, etc. Each human being has dignity, no matter what.
So what does this 'state of emergency' means for us (Jen, Jessica and I) in terms of our work here...? Well, it means a lot of frustration, as you can imagine. The director of the internat is furious over the situation, and he has put a halt to many of our liberties and activities. Our weekly excursions have been canceled, which was rather frustrating for the girls who had not yet had a chance to go, as you can imagine. That is why we decided to have an 'inclursion' the other day lol. Jen brought a set of crafts that her aunt had sent her, and we brought the girls who were supposed to go on the excursion with us to the little auditorium, where we did the crafts, played with balloons, danced, and shared candies :) The girls enjoyed it, so I felt some relief knowing we were able to somehow work around the canceled excursions. However, we have been trying to talk to the director to know for how long we will be unable to take the girls out. We are also a bit nervous because we do not know if we will get granted permission to invite people to come to watch the recital we have been preparing. We also do not know if we will be able to do the sleep-over as we had planned. So we are still waiting, chasing the director, who has been avoiding us, and hoping for the best. In the end, though, we will work around whatever needs to happen in order to get things done...
_____
For my part, I have been working on a few projects of my own, but I have not blogged about them because I want to keep it all to myself until I know whether it is going to be able to happen or not. For now, I can tell you that this weekend I am going to go buy supplies to put kits together for the girls. I am buying all sorts of hygiene and personal care products for each of the girls. I have asked Jen and Jessica to help me put the kits together. My aim is to have a "Let's take care of our bodies" day, when I will give the girls their kits, and I will take the opportunity to teach them (again, as Amanda did something similar last year) about personal hygiene. I have made a few posters, and I have a little activity planned. I am hoping to find articles for pedicure, such as foot scrubs, foot brushes, and the like, and to have each of the girls do their own pedicure, with my direction, of course. I have mentioned before how the feet of many of them are in an awful state, so I want to sort of 'trick' them into wanting to take care of their feet, hahaha. We will make it into a 'girlie' activity :P where I will teach them how to clean their nails, scrub their toes, put medication on their sores if they need it (Chopin was very kind as to help me provide them with foot medication), and end on a happy note by applying nail polish! :D. I am also going to remind them about tooth-brushing (I have a special poster made for that), and deodorant application, which is desperately needed with some of them!! I know it might get messy, so I am thinking of doing this activity with only a few girls at a time, even if it takes a couple of days.
Of course, I will get different things for the younger girls as they will not be as likely to be able to participate in the same way, but my hope is that we can teach the older ones to be an example and a help to the younger ones. So pray for me! (Or if you are not the praying type, wish me luck! :D )
Aside from that I am also working on something else and I have a meeting with someone this weekend to figure out what is going on with that... I will tell you more about it later once I know for sure what's going on (whether it will work or not).
In the meantime, I am trying to recover from what I think was food poisoning... :(
The other day I decided to go to Kosa, which is an internet-cafe/restaurant/bar to do my work because I was sick and tired of being stuck in the same room all day every day while doing my school work after the internat. So here I was, thinking this was a good idea, and I actually did get a lot of work done! BUT, I ordered something from the menu, not really knowing what it was since I can't really read it lol, and that did not go over so well. I asked the waitress, who spoke minimal English, to bring me something with chicken. That was part was fine. What was not fine is that what she brought me was a wrap that had chicken, tomatoes, some weird creamy sauce, and... hard boiled eggs D-:< That is when it all went downhill. I do not like hard-boiled eggs that much, but it was already ordered, cooked, and sitting in front of me, and I was not about to waste food, so I ate it. BUT, man! I did not feel good eating it. The eggs on it tasted funny and they just made me feel horrible. And at first, I thought, 'oh it is just because you don't like them', but the entire day afterwards I didn't feel so good, and by yesterday morning I was very ill... :( Not the most pleasant thing to talk about, I know, but oh well. So I am not feeling that great at all, but hopefully by tomorrow I will be ok. I can't afford to be sick right now. I can't afford to waste time. So while I have been stuck at home for pragmatic reasons, I have been trying to get as much work done as I possibly can. Now that my two assignmets are over and I only have to study for my finals I can dedicate more time to working on my little plans for the internat.
Tomorrow Jen and Jessica want to come and visit my house after the internat, which I think is awesome. Our plan is to go to the bazar after the internat to get some of the supplies for my kits, and then maybe we will watch a movie or something. I am looking forward to it :)
Saturday I have that meeting I mentioned before, and for the rest of the weekend I will be studying for my exams, working on my papers for my RS 398 course on the Theology of the Body, and starting to plan for my visit to my aunt in Sweden (read: looking for flights). Anyway, I think this has been long enough (what else could you expect from me!)
Please know that I am ok, that I am happy, and that God has been blessing me in many MANY amazing ways, so please do not worry about me. Some people have expressed concern over how long it has taken me to blog, but please know that the only reason for this is that I have been so insanely busy. Everything is fine, I am happier than I have ever been in my live, and even though every day there are things that are hard to swallow, my heart is full of joy and I feel strong and hopeful, even when I feel like there is not much I can do. Thanks to all for your continued support, for your concerns, for your emails (which honestly mean the world to me), and especially for your prayers. I especially want to thank somebody for all they have done for me in the last little while. You know who you are and what I am talking about.
Love you all, miss you all. God bless! :D
HOWEVER...
Coming back to the internat was a true shocker. As it turned out, over the short weekend we were gone, the whole place had gone through what they doubted an "EMERGENCY"... (Please Note: Jen, Jessica and I took a long time to write about this because we were not sure whether it would be appropriate to blog about it or not. Each of us had wanted to blog about it but had not, thinking the others would not approve. However, when we brought up the issue after a few days, we came to the conclusion that we SHOULD blog about it because, as Sarah Noonan said to us and Jen reminded us... the more light we shed on this place, the more accountability there needs to be and the greater hope we can bring for this girls...)
So... Here's what happened...
DISCLAIMER: WHAT I AM ABOUT TO TALK ABOUT IS QUITE SERIOUS AND I WILL BE VERY BLUNT IN EXPRESSING WHAT I THINK SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK...
As we soon found out due to the great commotion that was taking place, it turns out that one of the girls at the internat was discovered to be five months pregnant. She is 23 years old. The staff noticed her stomach as they were working in the fields one day, and when they interrogated her and 'checked' her, the truth came out. So what's happening with this girl?? Simple. She is being expelled from here and sent to another internat, which is really more like a prison, as we have been told. The reason that they give for this treatment is that she is "no longer a child, she is a woman now", but this is a bit absurd as you will see from what I will explain in just a bit. In my opinion, treatment is also more like a warning for the other girls, if you will. Nobody wants to go to that other internat... The girl, whose name I will not mention, definitely did not want to leave. This is where she has grown up, where her sisters are. This place is all she knows, and now she's gone. And as far as the baby goes, he or she will probably be sent to another internat where they take care of babies or will be given away in adoption (HOPEFULLY!!). But there is a lot more to it than this... Following the discovery of the 'emergency', all the girls 12 years old and older were checked for pregnancy, and with the director being furious, there was a huge commotion all over the place.
To be perfectly honest, this, while serious and somewhat shocking at first, did not really surprise me. After all, we had seen a few guys hang around the internat with some of the older girls, and Jen had even watched one of them... ehem... kissing one of the girls. These girls have very little to do, and nobody to show them love. Therefore, it does not surprise me in the least that at least some of them become sexually active with guys who live in the area, especially the ones who live in the adult/elderly internat next door. As it turns out, when the boys at another internat for males grow too old to be around the other kids, they get sent to the elderly home next door to our internat... so you can just imagine how that ends... I think it is a terrible idea, to say the least. Bogdan told us (through Orest), that there is a guy whose name is Sascha who had been playing "Casanova" (as Orest puts it) with the girls. As a result, several of the girls at the internat had become pregnant... AND... well... unlike the situation with this particular girl, the rest of the pregnancies have not resulted in births... Apparently this Sascha is not the father of this last baby and the father has been 'found', but there remains a huge problem of safety for these girls. Nobody takes responsibility for ensuring the girls' safety and education in these matters, and the solution is always after the fact...
You see, the only reason why this baby is even been allowed to be born is that it is that they discovered the pregnancy so late. What do I mean, you may ask? Well... thanks to Orest, who was able to translate all this for us from Alina Boss and from Bogdan, we learned that all the girls of a certain age get 'checked' EVERY MONTH for pregnancy!!! As far as we know, this includes girls as young as 12 years of age. What this 'checking' consists of, we do not know, but we hope it is just a simple pharmacy pregnancy test. If any girl is found to be pregnant, the 'solution' is immediate and irrevocable: abortion. No choice, no deliberation. Simple. Quick. And I may add, horrifying.
However, for some reason they had not checked the girls in a few months, and that is how this one 'leaked'. And I presume that since the baby is already much older and formed and an abortion at this stage would require a more complicated surgery, it would be much more difficult, risky and certainly scarring for the mother if they aborted the baby now. After all, since the baby is so large now, the mother would be able to feel the body of the baby being sucked out of her whole (or in parts... D-:<) YET, we heard that the director was so upset about the issue that he even suggested giving this girl some form of drug that would kill the baby... What I feel about that I will keep to myself but you can just imagine... This is the director of the internat, the one in charge of ensuring the girls' safety and well-being... So just picture the whole situation...
**Intermission**
If you do not know what I mean and if you want more information on abortion, its implications -including its physical, emotional and psychological risks and consequences-,statistics, how abortions are conducted at the different stages of development, AND how women can RECEIVE HELP both before AND after an abortion, etc., please go to the following links...
But REMEMBER, this is a serious issue. The website is descriptive in some areas and also gives you the option of looking at graphic pictures if you so CHOOSE. They go about it in a very respectful way, though, so they warn you before they show you anything. So please use your own discretion... This link contains a lot of useful information, including short 2 and 5 minute clips on the homepage that are very good an informative. If you want, you can choose to watch the pixelized version so you don't have to look at graphic images. I have posted the pixelized version of the 2 min pixelized version here:
Website Home Page:
http://www.abort73.com/
2 minute PIXELIZED video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NudvtDdc1Vk
This link actually explains the different methods in which abortion takes place at each stage of development. It is descriptive and it has links to graphic images if you choose to click on the thumbnails, but the thumbnails are very small so you don't have see anything if you don't want to:
http://www.lifesitenews.com/abortiontypes/
**End of Intermission**
What is very sinister about this is this: First of, the girls receive NO sexual education at all whatsoever, which means they are likely to find out about it by experimentation and without knowing the risks and potential consequences of being sexually active. What especially concerns me is the fact that this means these girls can be so easily abused by men who may come around the internat just to have a 'good time' and leave these girls emotionally, psychologically and even physically abused, with no accountability to anyone. These girls are easy targets. Easy victims. This makes me feel rage.
Secondly, these girls are forced to take these monthly tests AND, what is very macabre... if they do happen to turn out to be pregnant, they are FORCED to have an abortion. This is something that people on BOTH sides of the abortion debate should be horrified about. These girls have no options. No choice. It is a simple equation: you are pregnant = you get an abortion. PERIOD. According to the reports that Orest received from Bogdan (who by the way is perfectly ok with this and has even contributed to this being perpetrated), MANY of these girls have had at least one abortion (and sometimes more), and at least one of the girls has had her tubes tied, without even getting the choice of whether to give consent to this. This, too, is what will happen to this girl who just got pregnant, after she has her baby delivered via C-section. What is not clear to us is whether the baby will be delivered now (and likely die), or if they will let her carry it to term. But her tubes are getting 'tied' for sure, no choice involved. It is like getting them 'fixed', which does not keep them or protect them from being used. What's more is that some of the girls who already HAVE had abortions are very very very young... It truly breaks my heart to know what they have to go through in such a case... An abortion is a horrifying, scaring experience even for a woman in her full faculties and with a support network... it can cause severe stress and trauma for many years thereafter, and I cannot even begin to imagine the kind of damage it can cause to one of these vulnerable girls. Sure, pregnancy would not be easy in their case either, but the girls at the internat would be more able to understand and appreciate the risks of sexual activity than if abortion takes place in the secretive way it does, AND, more importantly, they would be able to appreciate, witness, and experience the beauty of the life-giving gift of fertility. They would be able to accompany the girl in her pregnancy journey and learn from it... that is, if they only let the girl stay... but instead, it is all done in such a clandestine, under the table sort of way, and that frustrates me to no end.
Some people may think, "well, these girls are disabled... they can't take care of a child... the child is unwanted... it is not worth for that child to live..." But if you are one of those people, I would like to challenge you to think differently. I look at each of these girls who live here at the internat... each of these abandoned, 'unloved' and 'unwanted' girls... and you know what I see? I see humanity. I see dignity. I see life. I see a child of God, who is worth every effort, every pain, and every hardship, just like any other child. Sure, living at an internat/orphanage with a mental or physical disability is not the ideal way of living. But you know what? Even these girls can be happy. If you only saw them playing, while they don't know anyone is watching... If you only saw their vitality, their enjoyment of the simple things of life... their DESIRE TO LIVE!!! These girls are truly sisters to one another; they take care of each other and they love each other very much...
Sure, many of them have suffered a lot, but they also know what love is, and how to give it. And that is what they do, both to us and to one another. Every human being that is born will suffer, no matter what. Even the richest of the rich suffer in one way or another, and often at their own hands through excess and greed. So whenever someone says that a life of a child is not worth living because of all the hardship he or she will live, I cannot agree in the least. All I think of is all the incredible men and women of history who have lived and suffered and yet have accomplished so much. And while some may say "yes, but these children will not be able to accomplish such things because of the likelihood that they too will be born with a disability", I say to them: These girls, WITH their disabilities, have an incredible potential to touch people's lives. They have certainly touched mine, and they have transformed me in such a short period of time. They have the ability to help and transform one another, and to say that their lives are meaningless or useless is a gross act of discrimination and prejudice, no different from any other such act, including the past discrimination against blacks, Jews, etc. Each human being has dignity, no matter what.
So what does this 'state of emergency' means for us (Jen, Jessica and I) in terms of our work here...? Well, it means a lot of frustration, as you can imagine. The director of the internat is furious over the situation, and he has put a halt to many of our liberties and activities. Our weekly excursions have been canceled, which was rather frustrating for the girls who had not yet had a chance to go, as you can imagine. That is why we decided to have an 'inclursion' the other day lol. Jen brought a set of crafts that her aunt had sent her, and we brought the girls who were supposed to go on the excursion with us to the little auditorium, where we did the crafts, played with balloons, danced, and shared candies :) The girls enjoyed it, so I felt some relief knowing we were able to somehow work around the canceled excursions. However, we have been trying to talk to the director to know for how long we will be unable to take the girls out. We are also a bit nervous because we do not know if we will get granted permission to invite people to come to watch the recital we have been preparing. We also do not know if we will be able to do the sleep-over as we had planned. So we are still waiting, chasing the director, who has been avoiding us, and hoping for the best. In the end, though, we will work around whatever needs to happen in order to get things done...
_____
For my part, I have been working on a few projects of my own, but I have not blogged about them because I want to keep it all to myself until I know whether it is going to be able to happen or not. For now, I can tell you that this weekend I am going to go buy supplies to put kits together for the girls. I am buying all sorts of hygiene and personal care products for each of the girls. I have asked Jen and Jessica to help me put the kits together. My aim is to have a "Let's take care of our bodies" day, when I will give the girls their kits, and I will take the opportunity to teach them (again, as Amanda did something similar last year) about personal hygiene. I have made a few posters, and I have a little activity planned. I am hoping to find articles for pedicure, such as foot scrubs, foot brushes, and the like, and to have each of the girls do their own pedicure, with my direction, of course. I have mentioned before how the feet of many of them are in an awful state, so I want to sort of 'trick' them into wanting to take care of their feet, hahaha. We will make it into a 'girlie' activity :P where I will teach them how to clean their nails, scrub their toes, put medication on their sores if they need it (Chopin was very kind as to help me provide them with foot medication), and end on a happy note by applying nail polish! :D. I am also going to remind them about tooth-brushing (I have a special poster made for that), and deodorant application, which is desperately needed with some of them!! I know it might get messy, so I am thinking of doing this activity with only a few girls at a time, even if it takes a couple of days.
Of course, I will get different things for the younger girls as they will not be as likely to be able to participate in the same way, but my hope is that we can teach the older ones to be an example and a help to the younger ones. So pray for me! (Or if you are not the praying type, wish me luck! :D )
Aside from that I am also working on something else and I have a meeting with someone this weekend to figure out what is going on with that... I will tell you more about it later once I know for sure what's going on (whether it will work or not).
In the meantime, I am trying to recover from what I think was food poisoning... :(
The other day I decided to go to Kosa, which is an internet-cafe/restaurant/bar to do my work because I was sick and tired of being stuck in the same room all day every day while doing my school work after the internat. So here I was, thinking this was a good idea, and I actually did get a lot of work done! BUT, I ordered something from the menu, not really knowing what it was since I can't really read it lol, and that did not go over so well. I asked the waitress, who spoke minimal English, to bring me something with chicken. That was part was fine. What was not fine is that what she brought me was a wrap that had chicken, tomatoes, some weird creamy sauce, and... hard boiled eggs D-:< That is when it all went downhill. I do not like hard-boiled eggs that much, but it was already ordered, cooked, and sitting in front of me, and I was not about to waste food, so I ate it. BUT, man! I did not feel good eating it. The eggs on it tasted funny and they just made me feel horrible. And at first, I thought, 'oh it is just because you don't like them', but the entire day afterwards I didn't feel so good, and by yesterday morning I was very ill... :( Not the most pleasant thing to talk about, I know, but oh well. So I am not feeling that great at all, but hopefully by tomorrow I will be ok. I can't afford to be sick right now. I can't afford to waste time. So while I have been stuck at home for pragmatic reasons, I have been trying to get as much work done as I possibly can. Now that my two assignmets are over and I only have to study for my finals I can dedicate more time to working on my little plans for the internat.
Tomorrow Jen and Jessica want to come and visit my house after the internat, which I think is awesome. Our plan is to go to the bazar after the internat to get some of the supplies for my kits, and then maybe we will watch a movie or something. I am looking forward to it :)
Saturday I have that meeting I mentioned before, and for the rest of the weekend I will be studying for my exams, working on my papers for my RS 398 course on the Theology of the Body, and starting to plan for my visit to my aunt in Sweden (read: looking for flights). Anyway, I think this has been long enough (what else could you expect from me!)
Please know that I am ok, that I am happy, and that God has been blessing me in many MANY amazing ways, so please do not worry about me. Some people have expressed concern over how long it has taken me to blog, but please know that the only reason for this is that I have been so insanely busy. Everything is fine, I am happier than I have ever been in my live, and even though every day there are things that are hard to swallow, my heart is full of joy and I feel strong and hopeful, even when I feel like there is not much I can do. Thanks to all for your continued support, for your concerns, for your emails (which honestly mean the world to me), and especially for your prayers. I especially want to thank somebody for all they have done for me in the last little while. You know who you are and what I am talking about.
Love you all, miss you all. God bless! :D
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)